Overwhelmed

I can't stand it anymore! I can't contain it anymore! God is just blessing me more than I can hold!!!!!!
Had you going there, didn't I? You thought I was going to say my hubs was driving me insane or my kids were acting up or I was all depressed, didn't you? Come on, admit it! I know you did. Why? Because that's where all of our minds go in this fallen world, but, but, but there is this God, see, and He is amazing, and sometimes, usually only when we give up doing it our way and let Him have His, this grace of unreal proportions gently washes over us and what we are left with is astounding, it is amazing, it is overwhelming. Especially because we didn't deserve any of it. But that is what grace is. And then there is mercy (the word, not my daughter. It is confusing, I know) which starts with this amazing grace and takes it even further, expounding it into a blessing we could never attain for ourselves and covers every fault, every wrong decision, ever mis-step.

Have you ever noticed that when you try to make something happen, it just doesn't? And a whole lot of times, it doesn't just doesn't (do I need to repeat that?) it blows up in royal proportions that takes all of our effort and time to fix and undo because we didn't let God have it. Oh, really. You've never done that?! Need I remind you of when...No, I won't give your secrets away here. Grace already covered that for you. But when you did let God have it all and take control those times it was beyond words, wasn't it? If you have never been to a place where God's amazingness has no word to define it, then you and I need to talk. Like intervention kind of talk. Because, oooooooohhhhh, have I got something to share with you! God rocks! He is cool as in "bowties are cool" (that is for all of you fellow Doctor Who fans).

Someone told me tonight that they always see me walk around with a smile on my face even with all I've been through. I smile, I grin, I smirk, I laugh, I do that annoying, loud, obnoxious kind of laugh that everyone can hear, I show all my teeth and scrunch up my eyes and let that smile split my face into! Why? Because the joy on the inside is so, so big it has got to come out, it doesn't have room to stay in and it wants to rub off on you! I couldn't not smile for the life of me for an hour, much less a day. There is too much in this life to be happy and joyful about. Like what God is doing on the inside of me, on the outside of me, and all around me. There was sunshine today, people!!!!! Do you not know how big that is in the midst of this gloomy, unusually cold winter? Sunshine and I got to see it! I was here on this earth still to see the sun shine today, cancer free, in my lovely home with my silly children in their swimsuits doing schoolwork (cause that is how we do things around here!) and with a husband who loves me beyond my understanding. And with dogs. Mustn't forget the dogs, they're too cute and cuddly and likely to lick me for me to forget them. See, I'm blessed.

Then tonight, if that weren't enough during this 21 days of prayer and fasting we're doing, I go to help lead an info party about the essential oils from Young Living (if you have no idea what I'm talking about because you've been living in your igloo, see previous posts in the labels section under Young Living) and I'm telling you God was there before us, because it was far above and beyond what I could ask, think or even imagine (and I've got a pretty good imagination!). There is this verse that says that God will pour out a blessing to where you will not even have enough room to receive it, that you will have to expand to the right and to the left and still not have enough room (and it wasn't talking about your waistline, ok?). This is what happened tonight. The hostess, a family member, didn't have enough chairs or places for people to sit! That many people wanted to know more about essential oils from Young Living and what all they've been doing in the lives of us already using them. Now there isn't time enough to tell all the ways! Even I were to list all of the ways they've helped just me and me alone we would be here forever, cause they are so life changing. Literally. Cause I certainly didn't think I would be doing this, talking like this, living like this ever!

It was empowering to see all those faces looking back at us while we shared our testimonies and know that each of these 30+ women wanted to know how to change the lives of their families for the better. We are doing our best to change this corner of the South for the better, too. You don't have to live everyday in pain. Did you know that?! Really. I mean it. There is an oil for that. Haha, sorry I couldn't resist. Ok, I'm not sorry. These oils have changed my life and for the better, cause you know what? It is not just about the oils, it is about the community and the connections and the people. I am so Overwhelmed that God is using me, little ol' me, this battle scarred, messed up, abused, condescending person and turn me into the woman who can't stop smiling. But you know what? I'd be crazy to not be okay with that, and I'm not quite that crazy...

2 Years Ago Today...

My life changed. One phone call was all it took to shake my world from top to bottom.
Cancer.
What an ugly word. To most it is a death sentence. To me it was surreal.
I mean when you are growing up as a little girl (well, I was growing up as a little girl, you might not have been, especially if you were a boy growing up) you generally have a mental list of all things you want to have or do when you become a grown up, because the lives of grown ups are so mysterious and magical, but I can assure you "cancer" was not ones of the things on said list to be ticked off. It wasn't between have two children and have more children, nor was it anywhere else.
Sometimes life sucks. And two years ago, it really did because what was to come was unknown and even when you have an inkling, unknown is kind of hard to plan for. However, even though I wouldn't wish cancer on the foulest, most disgusting murderer in the world, I am still amazed day to day what blessings God has heaped upon me throughout my journey.
If you ever hear the word cancer in application to your own life, don't try to be strong, don't try to be brave, because you can't be. There are few things in this world that are as horrendous as cancer treatments and cancer itself. Yet, don't dispare because if you are a Christian, having asked Jesus to be Lord of your life and believe that He is the Son of God and was sent to this earth to die on the cross then you are saved! Because God fights your battles for you! You don't have to be brave because He is brave for you; you don't have to be strong because He is strong for you! There is a peace in that can't shake you, even if your life is changed by cancer, because God is bigger than it. I pray that you come to know that peace, although I also pray cancer never visits you or your loved ones.