My Vision Board

My Vision Board by rachelawhite 

I signed up for a 8 week long "course" to help me grow my "business" (I still can't call something so fun a business!) through Young Living essential oils. I use the oils for my health (breast cancer survivor here, in case you've missed previous posts) and I love sharing them with people which ended up landing me in the biz side where I make money each month through YL from the proceeds each person that signed up "under" me buys from YL in the given month. I then turn around and buy oils and other products from YL with said money, plus pay a few bills. Nice, huh? But I don't want to stay where I am or go backwards, hence the course.

One of our challenges, homework, or assignment, whatever you want to call it, was to create a vision board of, well, our vision. So above is my vision. It is also my why, my where and my how. I'm very good at why's and where's, not so good at how's so this was very helpful for me. It is also a great reminder for me to keep in front of my eyes to keep my goals in place and to keep striving for those goals. What is your why?

Survivor Humor

Warning! Candor and Survivor Humor in the following post. Proceed with caution!

The past couple of years have held a lot of firsts for me. I had my very first mammogram nearly three years ago, and my first mastectomy two years ago. I've also had some lasts. My last time having my own breasts, my last time ever having a mammogram (kinda hard to have those if you don't have any thing to mammogram!), my last chemo, my last radiation, my last mastectomy, my last time ever wearing a nursing bra and nursing (even though I didn't know at the time that it was my last). Lots of milestones. Some bittersweet, some just plain ol' bitter.

This cancer journey has been long and hard, I admit. It has been a lot longer than I thought it would be, too Especially this last part. When I was first diagnosed in December 2011, I was told it would all take about a year to go through, but alas, the three year mark has nearly arrived. Today another “last” has come as well. My last day ever to wear my prosthesises (what IS the plural of prosthesis anyway?). Tomorrow I will be finally undergoing the first step of my breast reconstruction. I never thought I would ever have a transplant, much less one to help create a new breast for me! Who knew!

There is a funny part to all of this for me, and one that I will share in all the macabre sense of humor survivors develop, or at least should to prevent becoming cynical and bitter. I didn't receive my two prosthesis at the same time, because my mastectomies were a year apart. Therefore my two don't match. Now when I say don't match, I mean really don't match! A source of amusement to me.

Meet Hilda and Greta:

They have added five pounds to my total weight and drooped and sagged and wiggled their way to the middle of my chest and flopped and made me sweat these past two years, Hilda longer than Greta. They've made me look somewhat normal in clothes, prevented me from wearing a bathing suit top, tried to fall out of my prosthetic bras and been poked by my silly children.

I can seriously say I will not miss them and I look forward to passing them on to someone else who has need of them. I also hope to never have need of their kind again, meaning that I hope the reconstruction process goes perfectly well and the transplant “takes”. Goodby Greta and Hilda. Fare thee well and good riddance!

Seafood Salad with Avocado Recipe

Seafood Salad Recipe

I don't know about you, but I love seafood salad. I often purchase containers of the stuff at Publix and eat it in the car with a fork! Sometimes I slow down just enough to buy a bag of rolls and eat some in that, like a crab roll. I dream of going to Maine and eating crab rolls from a crab shack. Some day. Oh, some day!

Okay, enough rambling. You are here for a recipe, not my love of seafood.

Now you can eat this Seafood Salad without the, um, "salad" part, but I prepared my plateful with a bed of fresh spinach.

Recipe:

• 1 package of imitation crab meat, diced or shredded
• 1 package of baby shrimp optional
• 1/4 c. of diced celery
• 1/4 c. of diced onion
• 1/4 tsp of Old Bay seasoning
• sprinkle of garlic salt
• fresh ground black pepper to taste
• 1 1/2 tsp. of Grey Poupon or preferred mustard
• mayonnaise to taste, approx 1/2 a cup

Garnish:

Avocado, pitted, sliced and on bed of salad greens

     or substitute single serving tube of guacamole

French Fried onions

Shredded cheese

In a bowl, combine crab meat, shrimp (optional), celery and onion. For best results, sprinkle seasonings over mixture and stir in, before adding remaining ingredients. Stir in the mayo and mustard and place portion size on bed of baby spinach, atop avocado slices or guacamole. Sprinkle shredded cheese and french fried onions over the top and the most important part of all: ENJOY!!

DIY Laundry Booster

You are not going to believe how easy this DIY project is! Even the kids can get in on this one, especially if they are at that age where they want to know how to do everything, like my two children! It is also free of all the pesticides and unknown chemicals lurking in so many products out there. And no one send me hate mail telling me that baking soda is a chemical; take it in the spirit I intended it...


So what do you need for this magic recipe?

Ta-Da!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baking Soda

Pure, Plain Ol' Baking Soda

As you can see we buy this stuff in bulk!!!!

Then you need your favorite essential oils from Young Living

If you want a slightly spicy scent and massive germ killing, then go with Thieves

If you like fresh scents and need super odor killing power, then go with Purification

 If you like the traditional relaxing scents and need stress relief, go with Lavender

At the moment, our homemade laundry detergent has both Purification and Lavender in it (see here for the laundry liquid detergent, here for the update on it, and here for the laundry soap recipe), so my next batch will be made to match. However, this batch I made up was with Thieves, one of the best smelling things on this planet!

To create this very simple recipe, all you need are the above ingredients: Baking Soda and the essential oil of your choice (I use Young Living and am a distributor for them. If you want to know more about that and to get your own, email me at spiceyourspace@yahoo.com)

Recipe:

1 cup of Baking Soda

15-20 drops of your choice essential oil

Mix thoroughly

in a bowl or container of some sort

Find a pretty thing to store your mixture in.

My choice was this canister belonging to my husband's grandmother

Inside is a dose cup like what you get with liquid cold medicine

For each load of really nasty laundry:

Add 1tsp-1T. depending on your preference, size of load, etc

 And that is it!

See! I told you it was simple!

Note of caution, though: Do not store in plastic containers if your essential oil contains any citrus oil. The citrus will eat through the toxins of the plastic leaving you with a frightful mess.

P.S.- stay tuned for my newest recipe on Laundry Sauce, a new take on laundry detergent

Coming Soon!

Overwhelmed

I can't stand it anymore! I can't contain it anymore! God is just blessing me more than I can hold!!!!!!
Had you going there, didn't I? You thought I was going to say my hubs was driving me insane or my kids were acting up or I was all depressed, didn't you? Come on, admit it! I know you did. Why? Because that's where all of our minds go in this fallen world, but, but, but there is this God, see, and He is amazing, and sometimes, usually only when we give up doing it our way and let Him have His, this grace of unreal proportions gently washes over us and what we are left with is astounding, it is amazing, it is overwhelming. Especially because we didn't deserve any of it. But that is what grace is. And then there is mercy (the word, not my daughter. It is confusing, I know) which starts with this amazing grace and takes it even further, expounding it into a blessing we could never attain for ourselves and covers every fault, every wrong decision, ever mis-step.

Have you ever noticed that when you try to make something happen, it just doesn't? And a whole lot of times, it doesn't just doesn't (do I need to repeat that?) it blows up in royal proportions that takes all of our effort and time to fix and undo because we didn't let God have it. Oh, really. You've never done that?! Need I remind you of when...No, I won't give your secrets away here. Grace already covered that for you. But when you did let God have it all and take control those times it was beyond words, wasn't it? If you have never been to a place where God's amazingness has no word to define it, then you and I need to talk. Like intervention kind of talk. Because, oooooooohhhhh, have I got something to share with you! God rocks! He is cool as in "bowties are cool" (that is for all of you fellow Doctor Who fans).

Someone told me tonight that they always see me walk around with a smile on my face even with all I've been through. I smile, I grin, I smirk, I laugh, I do that annoying, loud, obnoxious kind of laugh that everyone can hear, I show all my teeth and scrunch up my eyes and let that smile split my face into! Why? Because the joy on the inside is so, so big it has got to come out, it doesn't have room to stay in and it wants to rub off on you! I couldn't not smile for the life of me for an hour, much less a day. There is too much in this life to be happy and joyful about. Like what God is doing on the inside of me, on the outside of me, and all around me. There was sunshine today, people!!!!! Do you not know how big that is in the midst of this gloomy, unusually cold winter? Sunshine and I got to see it! I was here on this earth still to see the sun shine today, cancer free, in my lovely home with my silly children in their swimsuits doing schoolwork (cause that is how we do things around here!) and with a husband who loves me beyond my understanding. And with dogs. Mustn't forget the dogs, they're too cute and cuddly and likely to lick me for me to forget them. See, I'm blessed.

Then tonight, if that weren't enough during this 21 days of prayer and fasting we're doing, I go to help lead an info party about the essential oils from Young Living (if you have no idea what I'm talking about because you've been living in your igloo, see previous posts in the labels section under Young Living) and I'm telling you God was there before us, because it was far above and beyond what I could ask, think or even imagine (and I've got a pretty good imagination!). There is this verse that says that God will pour out a blessing to where you will not even have enough room to receive it, that you will have to expand to the right and to the left and still not have enough room (and it wasn't talking about your waistline, ok?). This is what happened tonight. The hostess, a family member, didn't have enough chairs or places for people to sit! That many people wanted to know more about essential oils from Young Living and what all they've been doing in the lives of us already using them. Now there isn't time enough to tell all the ways! Even I were to list all of the ways they've helped just me and me alone we would be here forever, cause they are so life changing. Literally. Cause I certainly didn't think I would be doing this, talking like this, living like this ever!

It was empowering to see all those faces looking back at us while we shared our testimonies and know that each of these 30+ women wanted to know how to change the lives of their families for the better. We are doing our best to change this corner of the South for the better, too. You don't have to live everyday in pain. Did you know that?! Really. I mean it. There is an oil for that. Haha, sorry I couldn't resist. Ok, I'm not sorry. These oils have changed my life and for the better, cause you know what? It is not just about the oils, it is about the community and the connections and the people. I am so Overwhelmed that God is using me, little ol' me, this battle scarred, messed up, abused, condescending person and turn me into the woman who can't stop smiling. But you know what? I'd be crazy to not be okay with that, and I'm not quite that crazy...

2 Years Ago Today...

My life changed. One phone call was all it took to shake my world from top to bottom.
Cancer.
What an ugly word. To most it is a death sentence. To me it was surreal.
I mean when you are growing up as a little girl (well, I was growing up as a little girl, you might not have been, especially if you were a boy growing up) you generally have a mental list of all things you want to have or do when you become a grown up, because the lives of grown ups are so mysterious and magical, but I can assure you "cancer" was not ones of the things on said list to be ticked off. It wasn't between have two children and have more children, nor was it anywhere else.
Sometimes life sucks. And two years ago, it really did because what was to come was unknown and even when you have an inkling, unknown is kind of hard to plan for. However, even though I wouldn't wish cancer on the foulest, most disgusting murderer in the world, I am still amazed day to day what blessings God has heaped upon me throughout my journey.
If you ever hear the word cancer in application to your own life, don't try to be strong, don't try to be brave, because you can't be. There are few things in this world that are as horrendous as cancer treatments and cancer itself. Yet, don't dispare because if you are a Christian, having asked Jesus to be Lord of your life and believe that He is the Son of God and was sent to this earth to die on the cross then you are saved! Because God fights your battles for you! You don't have to be brave because He is brave for you; you don't have to be strong because He is strong for you! There is a peace in that can't shake you, even if your life is changed by cancer, because God is bigger than it. I pray that you come to know that peace, although I also pray cancer never visits you or your loved ones.

My Very Special Thanksgiving

I said I would get around to posting to update about my surgery sometime before Christmas, but I thought I'd add a little cheer to the subject. Most of you are spending this day stuffing yourselves with turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, and of course stuffing. Although I will be doing the same (except I prefer dressing to stuffing and if you're southern you know there's a difference!) I will also have a little something extra to celebrate besides the glorious time of year we remember the Pilgrims and the Indians by eating and planning a shopping extravaganza for the following day.

This Thanksgiving Day, I celebrate ONE YEAR CANCER FREE!!!!!! That's 365 days, people! A full 365 days without cancer cells in my body on a silent advance to take over. I'm a bit excited to tell the truth. Well, more than a bit, really. I'm stoked, I'm flabbergasted, I'm overjoyed, I'm ecstatic, and that's all without pulling out the thesaurus! So, I'm warning you now: If you see me on Thanksgiving Day, be prepared to see a goofy grin and sparkling eyes, and lots of peeps, heehees, and hahas out of me. This moment is the most monumental of 2013 for me. Try saying that 5 times fast!

If I'm posting about this moment, I guess you kinda figured out on your own that I'm doing well after my last surgery. You're smart that way, right? :) I knew you were. I went in for surgery on September 18th and after quite a few hours waiting because they called us in too early, I was taken back and had my right breast ripped out of my body had a skin saving mastectomy on my right side and my port removed, since I haven't had chemo in over a year and the port wasn't working correctly anyway. My memory of my first mastectomy in September of 2012 is kinda hazy, so I was pleasantly surprised to have this thing called "bear paws" to wear while I waited for surgery. It is a gown like thing with a hose attached. At the wall end of the hose, you can turn on air to hot or cold or anywhere inbetween. Of course I had it maxed out at hot for a while (why are hospitals so cold?!) but I kept having to turn it off so I could hear the people talking to me in the room, since I didn't even take my hearing aids for fear of losing them. I did get to enjoy my sister and niece's company along with my hubby's and I don't think I was grumpy from lack of food until right about the time they came to get me for surgery. Don't tell, but one of the nurses let me have ice once after I told her I was getting parched since I normally consumed about 64-70 oz. of water in a day. I liked her, a lot!

A couple of fun things happened that day, and by fun I mean not so fun. First, was the I.V. thing. Normally, I have no problem getting the I.V., just a problem with the I.V. getting in. I blame my mother. She had tiny, rolling veins; I have tiny, rolling veins. Anyway, I was supposed to get the I.V. in my right arm per my doctor's instructions, even though I was having surgery on the right, because I've had lymph nodes removed from my left. My right is a little easier to get needles in, but barely. The nurses were so nice and apologizing for what all they were having to do to me after my vein rolled on them the third time. I don't usually look at what they're doing if it hurts and this time I'm glad I didn't, because when I glanced over, blood was pouring down my hand and puddling onto the floor. I don't mean just a few drops, I mean like someone stuck a pig (oink!oink!) or squirted ketchup on the floor. It took both nurses to clean me, them, and the floor up. I have never bled like that before, but at least on the fourth or fifth stick they got the I.V. in.

When I woke up from the anesthesia, though, I was dismayed to find that the I.V. had been put in my left foot. Um, can you say OUCH! That was the most painful place I've ever had one. The reason for it being there was something to do with the risks of it being in either of my arms because of the whole lymph node thing, but I remember most the pain and discomfort of the thing being in the top of my foot. The nurses wanted me going to the bathroom on my own, which was fine and I was able to do, but walking on the foot with the I.V. was horrible. Especially when I was groggy, about to pop, and snagged the I.V. line on the corner of the bathroom door because the pole wouldn't roll into the bathroom. Yep. Lovely it was. And one of the pain meds they gave me had to go in the needle in my foot and it burned and was cold all at the same time, so bad I teared up.

The other not fun part was when I woke up from the surgery. When they wheeled me back, I was joking and laughing with the nurses and fine. However, when I woke up it was to "I'm going to throw up" being said by none other than me. I won't describe the part that followed, only to say that has never ever happened to me in all of the surgeries I've had. It was not pleasant. Apparently my usage of essential oils has become ingrained because the next thing to come out of my mouth is "I need ginger. My husband has it." The amused male nurse fetched it and let me put it on, while I answered his questions about Young Living essential oils. The Ginger certainly made me feel better and eased the hurling.

I didn't get sick after that, didn't have to have morphine, and relied on percocet and my essential oils to help with the pain and discomfort. And like last time, I couldn't get enough to eat. The kitchen didn't like me much...

I had hardly any drainage from the surgery this time, even though they put in two drains. I ended up having the drains taken out early because there was no drainage to drain, and the lines were pushing on a nerve in my upper chest causing a low grade fever and lots of pain in that area. Oddly enough, I had hardly any pain at the incision site, especially when compared to the pain the drain lines were causing. I was able to go home the day after surgery, once again like last time. However my foot hurt like, well, you get the idea.

This time I knew what might help, so I was using Frankincense and Sacred Frankincense for my cells and tissue, plus ice packs, pillows, etc. Getting the plumbing working again wasn't fun, but a little bit better than last go around. The not so fun part was getting a stomach bug when I went for my post-op appointments with my doctors. I didn't wash my hands as much as I should've while I was there, and a day later "boom" and I lost eight pounds over the next two weeks.

It took me more time to heal up from the stomach bug than from the surgery. Keeping my energy up and the mental fog at bay was and is hard. But, each day I do get a little bit stronger. Just not as fast as I wish, because I had to work hard to get to where I was. I also will only have six months before the next round of surgeries, so part of me struggled with even trying to get back to where I was only to go through it again. There were some dark days mentally, I'll be honest with you. Thankfully, I had some great prayer warriors interceding for me and the dark days passed and praise music was the light shining the darkness dim.

Now, you see why I'm back to the whole giddy, celebratory attitude that a major milestone is under my belt and that I get to celebrate it with family and eating till I burst! Happy Thanksgiving everyone and remember we all have something in our lives to be thankful for, even if it is just the lives we are living. God bless you and yours.