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Sunday, December 28, 2008

So Many Blessings

If I believed in Santa, I would think that he came over our house about four times in the week leading up to Christmas and dumped sleigh fulls of presents into our house! But, I know that it was the bountiful blessings of God. I am beginning to think that next year Tim and I won't have to buy any presents for the kids, since they get so many from everyone else. Not to mention that half of the presents from us came from a barter night I had with a small group I participated in a few weeks ago.

I started being a good and dutiful wife and mother by making lists of who gave what presents to us or the kids but by Christmas Eve, there was no keeping up with it anymore. We drive a smaller SUV and we had to unload it three times between Christmas Eve morning and Christmas Day. We literally had a path through our house to get from one end to the other! Tomorrow I am hiring my neice to help me go through all the toys and decide what to let the kids play with now and what to pack up for three or so months from now. My children both have birthdays in May so it works out well to pack up half their presents at Christmas and birthday time and then unpack the box every three months. That way they have continuous presents and don't get tired or overwhelmed by what they do have.

Wow, I still can't get over how much the children got! Not to mention us. I got a brand new guitar, a diamond necklace and earring set, a pearl necklace and earring set, a willow tree figuring I have been wanting, clothes, pots and other kitchen stuff I needed, and the list goes on. Goodness, just so wonderful how God is to us.

Now I am looking forward to the new year. I am ready to attack all obstacles in our way and begin a great, wonderful year to bring help to those in need and to be diligent doers of what God has instructed us to do. I want to be a resourceful steward who did the best that could be done with what I have, not a miserly servant who hid the one talent he was given. Onward to the new year!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas is Near

Wow! It is so hard to believe that Christmas is just days away. I did finish my shopping, before all the total mayhem thank goodness! It took me two days to wrap everything. I think this next year I will buy and wrap when I know something is for a specific someone. I believe I figured out that if we put aside twenty dollars a month then we will have enough money for everyone's Christmas presents. That is including inflation, too. I can buy every month or all starting in October. Whatever the case needs to be. Of course, Christmas isn't all about presents. No. And, this year I have learned just how much it is about hope.

These past few months I felt like I was at the end of the rope when it came to the amount of hope I had left. God surely knew this and Pastor Chris began doing a series on it. Completely changed my way of thinking on hope. The world thinks hope is wishing for something. Like I hope I win the lottery. Hope is something they do, but for Christians, hope is something they have. Also, Christians know their hope is in Christ. Psalm 71:14 But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

That is so amazing and comforting and heart lightening. Hope is not some deep, mystical wisp of air that we can never grasp hold of. Yes, it does provide the substance for faith, as it is said in Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

I have also learned that sometimes hope means looking at what you need to accomplish in life. I had a wish list a mile long of all the things I wanted to do in this life. Building my ark went from truly spiritual, Godly things I was hoping for and basing my faith on, to wishful thinking. I hoped for my wonderful husband long before I knew him. I thank God for that hope He instilled in me, that I was worthy of never divorcing and having someone faithful to me and our marriage bed. Yet, somewhere along the way the number of houses I wanted ended up on that list, too. What material things I wanted to possess and recognition I wanted to receive.

These past two weeks, God has showed me that my life is about how can I make a difference while I am on this earth. Not what acclaim can I receive or what recognition, but what can I do that the light of God shines through me to all men. I changed my heart and felt so humbled. Not in a bad way either, but in a way that made me feel like a thousand ton weight had been lifted off of me and that I was free to accomplish what I truly wanted to. Jesus did say Come to me those of you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I started writing down all the things that I truly had a hope for and was amazed at the things that came out. Even things I had forgotten about. I wrote down that I wanted to start a new and revolutionary type of orphange in Russia. When I did, I suddenly remembered being still a child and telling my mother that I wanted to do just that when I got older. That I wanted to make a place that was home to them, a place where they didn't have to be sad anymore. Mother said to me that orphanges were not good places, and that children were never happy to be there because they were sad places. That steeled my resolve to make a place were they could be happy, regardless of what people think. Orphanage is such a bad word, but it doesn't have to be a bad place. Not with God involved. But I had forgotten about this hope in the pursuit of things to make me momentarily happy.

In retrospect it seems rather selfish and petty, which it was. It is amazing what hope can unveil in your life. Such a simple word that we take such advantage of in our society, yet something that changes lives everyday. Think if the cancer survivor had never had hope, or the mother with a preemie baby, or the soldier injured in battle. All those lives that would have been forfeit without hope. And Jesus is our blessed hope. Titus 2:13 says, ...while we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night of blessed hope!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You Lied Lyrics

Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote on the 16th of this month:

You Lied
I'm lying here alone
listening to the rain
fallin' on my windowpane
Wondering when
did it all end
Were there signs
I couldn't see
How is this all
happening to me
It's been six weeks
since you chose to leave
Said you didn't love
me like you did before
Were gonna go explore
see if there was more
than I ever gave you
Then you walked out the door
ripped my heart from my chest
Now there's nothin' left
So,...
Chorus
I cried
you'll never know it
I cried
I'll never show it
You lied
said we'd be forever
You lied
said always together
What am I gonna do?
How can I go on?
Will I love again?
repeat chorus
Will I love again?
How can I go on?
What am I gonna do?
I'm lying here alone
listening to the rain
fallin' on my windowpane

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dreading the next 4 years

Well, it happened. Eight years ago, when I voted in my very first election I would have never seen this coming. Yet, in the past four years I knew something was going to change and not be for the better. I am not saying the Barack Obama is a horrible person, nor is he necessarily the AntiChrist or anything like that. I think that he is human and his faith, whatever faith he has, is misplaced. The only place that it should be is in God. That is what has kept our county in the forefront all these years, its dedication to the Most High.

I dread the change that will happen in the next four years. Some of the change will be even more far fetched than that, since in some cases it takes so long for new laws and amendments to take effect. By the time the next election comes about will I be able to homeschool John who will be entering kindergarten at that time, will I be able to continue homeschooling Mercy? Or will I be forced to let someone else teach my children about things I have no control over?
Will abortion be even more legalized than it already is? Will gay marriage and parenting be considered the norm by mainstream media and the average citizen? Will "evangelical Christian" be a term of contempt and a mockery of all it was meant to be? Will I be able to worship the way that I choose to worship God, and my savior, Jesus Christ?

Even with all the questions I have about the future I do know that my God is the same yesterday, today, and forever more regardless of how time itself changes things around me. I do know that He said that who the Son sets free is free indeed and Jesus set me free twenty one years ago when I gave my heart to him. I also know that God said he would complete the work that he began in me and I am by golly not done yet; I haven't even gotten started good. He said that no weapon formed against me would prosper and that every tongue that rises against me in judgement I shall condemn. He said that his face shines upon me and shows me peace. Right now that is what I want the most. Peace.

In the midst of everything going on around me, whether it be one falling beside me or ten thousand at my right hand, it will not come near me. Only with my eyes will I look and see the reward of the wicked. The Most High is my habitation, there nothing can come against me. Lord, in the years to come help me to remember that. Help me to know this too shall pass. And most of all, help this nation that has entered into a dark time because of bad choices and turning their backs on you. Give us mercy and grace in this time of need and forgive this country as a whole, for we surely need it.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Frustrations of Life

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I wrote, not nearly enough time or room to put it all down. However, I am seeing myself with a whole new light. It has been a really bright light that shows more than I wanted it to, all the haughtiness and self righteousness that I didn't realize was there.
After having a heart felt repentance session with God last night I am turning over a new leaf. Actually I am turning my focus from me myself and I to the world as a whole. Yes, I have issues(no comment needed there!) and I tend to see the world from my point of view down the wrong end of the telescope. Everything seems so far away from me, not effecting me in the slightest. However, I should be seeing everyone else's point of view with a magnifying glass and do what I can through Christ to fix it.

What would happen if every one of us stopped looking at how things effect us and started seeing how they effect everyone else? Instead of seeing what kind of money I can save for myself, see how much money I can save in the grocery store line to have more to give. What if instead of being the first to grab that penny on the ground, I give it to the first person I meet? What if I let the person pulling out of the parking lot get in front of me, instead of making them get behind me? And, the gut wrenching one for me: what if instead of trying to have the last word and be right when my husband and I have a disagreement, I say "Yes, honey, you are right. Please forgive my bad attitude and my words of disrespect. "Like I said, whole new perspective.
Just please Lord, help me do it.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Here Goes Nothin

Alright here goes my attempt at blogging. Let's see how far I get. Anyone up for bets? Wager lots on the side of me not making it a month! Ha. Where do I place my bid?
For those of you who wonder about the name, A Tink Life, well it comes from my husband calling me Tink as in Tinkerbell with an attitude. You know, live life by the drama and stick your tongue out at the world but shed a little pixie dust to make everything alright at the end of the day kind of Tink.
Anyway, the reason I started this is I have been thinking alot lately about what kind of legacy I am leaving in this world. Sure I have great dreams and plans and ideas, but if no one ever knows them then what kind of realization is it ever going to get. Look at Da Vinci, what if he had never written all of his ideas down? Lord, knows I am not that kind of artist, but I am one in my own right.
I want my kids to know who I am, what went on inside my head when they were growing up (how much will shrinks charge them I wonder?). I want them to know what I thought about them and where I want them to end up when they are 25. I want people to see my for who I am, and see Christ through me. Let the light of God shine through me to all men. And, Lord, let it be a good light.

Friends of Mine