Friday, May 29, 2009
A first time for everything....
So, I have a five year old. My five year old is beautiful, a bit stubborn, very dramatic, and is quite a conversationalist. And she just said her first cuss word.
What did I do? Well, let me tell you!
I was in my bedroom finishing up something and she came in my room all dressed since we were about to go somewhere. She drops something on the floor by accident as we started talking and she said the whopper of all whoppers, " G-D ". Now, we are Christians who don't cuss (well, WE don't but occassionally I let the S word slip in a very hushed whisper). Anyway, we definitely don't say G-D, nor could you pay us enough money to.
To say I was astonished might be understating it a bit, more like flabbergasted, gobsmacked, bowled over, etc. but all at the same time. Thank goodness, my godly parenting skills took over while the rest of me was metephorically on the floor.
I heard myself say, " What? "
The next thing was not a repeat of the word like most would probably do, but a burst of tears from my very young five year old. Compassion kicked in, since I knew she didn't know what she had just said. I explained to her that we did not say that word ever, no matter what, because it was really bad and meant something bad.
The wailing wall in Israel hasn't seen as many tears as I did during this exchange, complete with hyperventilating (coming from her, not me). Very calmly, without any yelling or shouting I told her she wasn't in trouble and I was not going to punish her because she didn't know she was wrong until mommy let her know. In the midst of a boo-hoo, I said, " Honey, it isn't wrong to try new words, that is what helps you get smarter. But you obviously thought that word might not be a good one because you started crying before I even said whether it was or not. Next time, if you think a word might be a bad one, ask. You won't get in trouble for asking, because that is the right way to do it. "
I also let her know that if she ever said the word again she would be in deep trouble because now she knew the word was wrong, and if she didn't stop crying I was going to tickle her until she stopped. Of course, like I mentioned she is dramatic, so I ended up having to tickle her for about five minutes. After a little bit she calmed down, and I loved on her and hugged her telling her I loved her very much and she was very special and nothing she ever said was going to change that. But, I wanted her to use only nice words, not bad words that were ugly.
After she left my room, the realization of what actually transpired hit me and I reeled. To some, it might now be a big deal, but when it is your own precious, innocent child and that comes out of their mouth it can surprise you to say the least. As to where she picked up the word, there are two culprits. One is a very recent movie on tv that decided it wasn't being riveting enough so one of the characters decided to add some spice without any warning. Of course we changed the channel, but not before our little girl's little ears heard it. The second is a culprit of considerable years and a cantankerous humorous dispostion who is my husband's elderly grandfather. Whenever we visit, I hear the term at least once, but he has dementia to a degree and wouldn't remember if you asked him not to say it around the kids. Anyway, one was somewhat controllable but the other is highly unlikely to be controlled.
To sum it up, I survived my child's first cuss word a hundred times better than I coudl have ever imagined, but I know it was not me but the grace of God helping me. Otherwise there would have been yelling and shouting involved on my end and a terrified little five year old on her end. Considering all of us parents will have to deal with this one time or another a friend suggested I share my "fun" adventure so that maybe somebody else could learn something from it. I hope you do learn something, even if it is to laugh at my expense! Have a great and peaceful cuss-free night!